Junot Diaz's book, This Is How You Lose Her, offers an insightful look at love and loss, primarily through the eyes of its narrator, Yunior. Within this collection are stories about Yunior's infidelity and the relationships of those around him; this includes stories about his family's struggles with their respective partnerships. There is a subtle but obvious change in Yunior's attitude as these stories progress, transforming him into a more well-rounded character. Although highly flawed, Yunior's complexities make him human and allow him to reach a new understanding of love and its consequences. It is through trying to cope with grief that he learns to value ideas of intimacy and compassion. In doing so, Diaz justifies the importance of moving away from past mistakes, rather than dwelling on them and letting them destroy himself. Through the use of a dynamic character such as Yunior, Diaz is then able to recognize the presence of male privilege and emphasize the importance of dismantling the code of masculinity in order to truly understand oneself and each other. others. Say no to plagiarism. Get a custom essay on 'Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned'?Get the original essayDespite Yunior's claim that he is 'not a bad guy' in 'The Sun, the Moon and the Stars' ", his penchant for cheating is very evident in many of the stories in this book. Even in the aforementioned story, he is caught cheating on his girlfriend "with this chick who had tons of 80s freestyle hair" (This Is How You Lose Her 1), and he spends most of the story of trying to rekindle the spark in their lives. relationship in vain. A similar event occurs in "Alma", in which Yunior's girlfriend discovers his sexual relations with Laxmi, forcing him to think about what excuses he can use instead of admitting his infidelity. In "The Cheater's Guide to Love", he is even caught cheating on his fiancée with fifty other girls for 6 years, leaving him alone and struggling to move on. The frequency of these events already proves how reckless he is and how little he seems to learn from past experiences. The Yunior presented here is a man who enjoys participating in superficial sex without thinking much about the consequences. This is because he views women as objects for his pleasure. In "The Sun, the Moon and the Stars", he likes Magda for her "big hips" and her willingness to have sex with him. Alma, in the story of the same name, is seen in the same way with her "big Dominican ass" and her "incredible popola". Yunior also gives his brother's ex, Tammy Franco, the nickname "Fly Tetas" (That's How You Lose Her 97), and, in "The Cheater's Guide to Love", has expressed grievances against his ex-fiancée for not having given “good face”. » or “[hair] her pussy”. There is no mention of what these women were like as romantic partners, only crude judgments about their physical and sexual attractiveness. Therefore, this shows how Yunior stripped their individuality, objectified them, and ultimately dehumanized them. Furthermore, Yunior had never accepted any responsibility for the breakdown of his relationships. In "The Cheater's Guide to Love," he blamed his parents, the patriarchy and even Santo Domingo. However, later in this story, his mindset changes during a revelation involving his friend Elvis and his illegitimate daughter. Yunior resented his ex-fiancée for not forgiving him, but it wasn't until Elvis told him to find a "goodDominican girl” (That’s How You Lose Her 186) that he realizes what he has lost. Yunior begins to consider the possibility of forming a long-term partnership, in which the needs and opinions of both partners are equally important. He also thinks about the possibility of having children and how that could have saved his relationship with his ex-fiancée. This, in itself, marks a pivotal moment in which his character began to mature and shed his "misogynistic myopia" ("A Long-Term Relationship"). Yunior's character also changed in how he felt about rectifying his mistakes. Throughout this book, Yunior fails to understand the extent of the pain he has caused and clings to "this ridiculous hope that maybe one day [his girlfriend] will forgive him" (This Is How You Lose Her 184). Time and time again, he tells himself that he'll be able to save his relationship as long as he tries, whether or not his exes feel the same way. This happens in both "The Sun, the Moon and the Stars", as well as "The Cheater's Guide to Love", but neither story ends with the reconciliation he hoped for. Instead, he's left with pain, frustration, and longing while his ex-romances move on with their lives. One of the main reasons why Yunior could not see the error in his ways is his lack of compassion – a major flaw in his character. As Diaz points out in his National Public Radio interview, if Yunior "really, truly had that compassion that this is a person, this is a human being that I hurt, he wouldn't be so quick to erase his crimes.” In an almost self-centered way, he was more concerned with righting his wrongs than consoling the person he had hurt. Since Yunior could not understand "the crime, the pain it caused, the betrayal of a relationship [with] this woman" ("Fidelity in Fiction"), he could not escape the possible punishment that he inflicts himself. The Cheater's Guide to Love,” this punishment not only takes the form of emotional heartbreak and despair, but also manifests itself physically through the deteriorating condition of Yunior's body. Diaz states in his interview with The Millions that "Yunior is that guy who tries, through his body, to avoid psychological problems, to use his body to bypass the psychological weight of trauma." Unfortunately, because he cannot emotionally deal with this trauma, his body "slowly somatizes its own depression, its own misery, its own grief." The heartbreak not only of breaking the heart of the woman he loved, but also the heartbreak of all that came before” (“A Brief Wondrous Interview”). Therefore, following the breakdown and gradual rebuilding of his physicality, Yunior's character comes to understand compassion and appreciate the fresh start he has been given, because it "feels like hope, to grace – and because…”. . . sometimes a start is all we get” (This Is How You Lose Her 217). Another significant change in Yunior's attitude towards women is how he begins to try to understand their point of view, to the point of writing a story using a woman's voice. . In the final pages of "The Cheater's Guide to Love", it is revealed that this book is a collection of Yunior's stories regarding his failed relationships. However, “Otravida, Otravez” strays from this, as Yunior writes as Yasmin, a Dominican immigrant in an affair with a married man named Ramón. Diaz confirms in his PBS NewsHour interview that this story is about Yunior's father and his extramarital affair, and that it is Yunior's attempt to "[imagine] the life of.