Love and Relationship Pattern will often be shaped by a person's upbringing and the family life they have experienced. Although a person may come from a loving home with parents who respected each other, shared responsibilities, and managed to stay married, this may be the kind of relationship they want for themselves. On the other hand, even though a person may come from a hostile environment with parents who fought and eventually divorced, perhaps this may be the kind of relationship they may be looking for. Memories of a negative childhood will always remain deep in a person's memory. mind, and they will feel subliminally normal in a relationship that reminds them of their childhood. Many people mistake this pattern for love, and it often leads to a broken affair. Recognizing this and breaking the pattern of this type of relationship is the only way a person can achieve happiness and build a relationship that will last. If a person believes that everything about their parents' relationship was perfect, they too may have the illusion that this is how life between partners should be. They may not realize that times are changing or understand that their parents may have hidden some of their bad times from them. When a person enters a relationship that doesn't live up to that perfection modeled from their childhood, it can leave them feeling disillusioned and disappointed. The love and relationship model should be based on our own desires, hopes and dreams, and not those of anyone else. We are the only ones who can decide how we want our next relationship to go. It may take some time to figure out what our definition of a perfect relationship is or what we want for our own lives. For every relationship that isn't working, this should be a clue to what we want in a long-term relationship. Learning from failed deals should provide insight into future ones and help us understand ourselves better.